So, I figured my blog would fall into the category ‘family and parenting’. Then I began to write… and a whole different style of writing began to emerge.
‘mental health’ now that’s a tough one, right? And being a parent with mental health, well this seems as though it’s most definitely too diverse and complicated to even begin to put into words.
Now, myself personally, I am currently falling into the category of an undiagnosed person with mental health. And nothing infuriates me more, than those judgmental kind of people. The “well why wouldn’t you see a doctor if you have mental health problems?” Kind of people. The “How do you know you suffer mental health problems if you haven’t yet been diagnosed by a professional?” Kind of people. This is the point that I explain, I don’t need a professional to tell me that there’s something imbalanced up there in my noggin. I mean I’ve lived with this same brain for 24 years so far, I’m pretty sure I know my own mind just a tad. And secondly, could I please just deal with things the way I want to and in my own time? I’m not one to succumb to any form of social pressure easily, so Mother, Father, Partner, friends, whomever else that cares for me… PLEASE although you’re all most desperately trying to help me, I thank you all, but believe me when I say that I will seek the recommended help when I feel within myself that I am able to explain and speak about the matter appropriately.
Now… Getting to the diagnosis. Understand, that although I haven’t yet myself been in the courageous position enough to speak honestly to a doctor, I commend all of those who do. Honest, your bravery to speak out so openly is what we need more of in Today’s society. I’ve tried talking therapies etc, and I felt like I was being completely patronised by somebody who had to be around my age or younger, and clearly did not give a rats ass about what would happen to me after this timed phone call.
Mental health isn’t the taboo subject that it once was, today it is more embraced than at all frowned upon. More and more people are finding the strength and power to speak up and shout ‘I am a person who lives with mental health!! And proud!!’ Which leads to the undeniable domino effect onto the next person, and the next, and so on.
The phrase ‘I suffer with mental health’ was one in which I’ve never been fond of, personally. I mean, of course we suffer. There’s literally nothing worse than being in a room full of people and feeling completely alone. Feeling like you’re swimming in an ocean, and there’s so many people around you, yet nobody can see you drowning. Nobody can hear you literally screaming for help as your lungs slowly fill with the water of self doubt, worthlessness, loneliness and insanity. Yeah, we suffer… But doesn’t everybody? I prefer the term ‘live with mental health’, so I can let those demons in my head know, YOU are renting a space in my head, I do not work around you… I work with you! After all mental health is a part of me, contrary to what many believe it does not go away! We just gain the strength to get used to living with it, and continuously discover more ways to keep it at bay for a while.
Well, I think this is long enough for my first blog. But I just want to assure you all, we are human, we are real! Remind yourself every day that you are amazing and you are worth so much to at least somebody in this world, whether you realise it or not. Even when you have to stick the cartoons on for your son or daughter in order to distract them, while you dive into the bathroom for a quiet five minutes of literally non stop crying. Remember you are not alone. You are never alone. Take comfort in how many people around the world are feeling just the way you are right now and doing the exact same thing.
You can do this.